was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
