Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
