You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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