so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
