I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
