Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
