Kiss
Puke
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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