we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Couch. On fire.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
