there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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