I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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