How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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