Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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