Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Randomize
