i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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