He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
