in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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