Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
