ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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