More tranny stories later!
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
