My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just found puke in my bra..
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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