I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
