I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
