I am in a vortex of obligation.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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