we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
