I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
