I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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