Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
