O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
