I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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