everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
