we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
