Got a toothbrush?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
