why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
