All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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