WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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