Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
