There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
