hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
