I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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