i love accidental penises.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
