hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i came on her dog
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
