i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
