There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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