wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
