I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
