Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
