Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
