Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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