i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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