i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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