scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
